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This scene from James Gunn’s movie Super (featuring Rainn Wilson, Ellen Page and Liv Tyler) hits pretty close to home…

OK, maybe NOT the cosplay aspect of it but the particular predicament the two characters are in. I find myself in that situation almost every night. The wife is horny as all get-out and me, not so much. I’m rarely in the mood nowadays. I can’t seem to get myself into gear with all the stresses of the day rolling around in my head: Our bleak financial situation, my low self esteem, my old middle-aged body, the mounting pressures from my so-called career and of course the stress from raising kids. I’m pretty sure money would cure my ills. If I didn’t have to worry about bills and my every growing debt that I’ve accumulated, I’m positive that I’d be having some brain crushing sex all the time. So, until I win my millions, the wife just needs to leave me alone…

Well, I guess it’s about that time for “The Talk” with my 12 year old son. I just discovered him with this month’s issue of Maxim magazine.

For those that aren’t familiar with the magazine, it’s a monthly men’s magazine with a bit of pop culture, sports, fashion and of course photos of scantily clad women in suggestive poses. It’s NOT “Playboy” territory since there’s no nudity but still, I don’t feel it’s appropriate reading material for a 12 year old. Anyway, I’m more concerned about the content in the magazine more than the photos. There’s a lot of frank talk about sex and some recent articles featured an investigation (in graphic detail) on reality show murderer Ryan Jenkins and a behind the scenes look at what happened to the high-end strip club Scores in NY.

You’re probably wondering how my son got a hold of an issue of Maxim. OK, well, I happen to subscribe to the magazine. I know, I know.. Hold on, before you make any judgements… let me back up and explain why I get it in the mail. I was a subscriber to Blender Magazine (a pop culture mag similar to Rolling Stone) which went under earlier this year. The publisher converted over the Blender subscribers to a sister publication which happens to be Maxim. So, it’s not like I *chose* to subscribe to Maxim… it just happened to show up at my door after the demise of Blender. and who am I to complain about a mag that features photos of sexy women every month?

Anyway, I had a long conversation with my son last night about how it wasn’t cool for him to take my stuff without permission. I explained to him calmly that the material in the magazine is akin to a “R” rated film. Just like how he’s not allowed to watch a movie that’s rated “R”, he shouldn’t be reading Maxim.

Honestly, it was pretty surprising to find that he’d be interested in the magazine. He’s still into Pokemon and Nintendo for goodness sakes!! In our conversation, he told me he was just curious about the issue since it had Twilight’s Ashley Greene on the cover. I didn’t really push for more info and just made the point that he shouldn’t be taking or viewing stuff without my permission.

As for “The Talk”? I’m going to hold off for now. I’m not sure if he’s ready to get into the nitty gritty of all that. OK, OK, *I’m* not ready to go into the nitty gritty with him. I mean, he’s had sex-ed in school so he’s aware of the basics. But to go beyond the school info and into sexual images, urges and self gratification? I can’t go there just yet.

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