There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There’s a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you’ll never see the end of the road while you’re traveling with me
Hey now, hey now, don’t dream it’s over
Hey now, hey now when the world comes in
They come, they come to build a wall between us
We know they won’t win
Now I’m towing my car, there’s a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there’s no proof
In the paper today tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the T.V. page
Hey now, hey now, don’t dream it’s over
Hey now, hey now when the world comes in
They come, they come to build a wall between us
We know they won’t win
Now I’m walking again to the beat of a drum
And I’m counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only the shadows ahead barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and release
Hey now, hey now, don’t dream it’s over
Hey now, hey now when the world comes in
They come, they come to build a wall between us
We know they won’t win…
when they first made an appearance in our yard years ago, we were all in awe of witnessing the “beauty of nature” up close. But over the years, we’ve grown to despise their presence. they eat up all our flowers and plants and leave us little “presents” (aka deer poop) everywhere.
So now, whenever they’re in our yard, you’ll rarely hear us say “aaawwwww”. It’s more like a groan.
what is wrong with me? I know, I know, I’ve got a long list and I can’t cover it all here in this particular blog post but let me just ramble a little on this one aspect for now.
I try to provide my kids opportunities to experience a wide range of activities all through the year. It’s something that I personally never got a lot of when I was growing up so I make it a point to spend the extra dough for all the usual stuff like soccer, various camps, music lessons and even swimming lessons…
So, it’s obvious I’ve got good intentions. But I catch myself whining and complaining every time I have to take the kids to one of their activities. I SHOULD be one of those “supportive” dads and encourage the kids every step of the way. But I’m usually just pissed off and agitated whenever I’m out and about with them.
I just know my kids’ lasting memory of me will be of an angry ol’ man dragging them to activities that they didn’t even want to sign up for in the first place.
while I was grumpily trying to sleep-in this morning, my 7-year old left me all that he had in his piggy bank with a little note wishing me a happy birthday.
well, another year has gone and another birthday is at hand (monday). and what do I have to show for it? I mean, have I done anything this past year to slow the downward spiral of my so called life?
have I improved my financial situation? nah.
Have I made a conscious effort to be a better parent? uummm, nope.
have I changed my lazy-ass ways and significantly improved my health. nope.
made a dent on my credit card debt? nada.
got a promotion? nunca.
have I done anything from my home improvement to do list? shit
have I become less cynical about life? absolutely not.
am I any happier with my life? do I even have to ask?
OK, so we just got word that our oldest passed the audition and will be placed in the local youth orchestra. wow, I totally didn’t expect that after he told me that he botched the audition a couple weeks ago. …and, you’d think that I’d be happy now. right. It’s never THAT simple. So, what this means now is more of my time shuttling him back and forth to weekly rehearsals and to private lessons. Plus, I got to find the money to pay for the lessons. ugh. and don’t get me started on how much it’s going to cost me to upgrade his cello. He’s currently got a 3/4 sized cello that he’s been using since the last 3 1/2 years. And apparently I can’t stop him from growing so he’s now at a point where he needs a full size cello. And even trading in his current instrument, we’ll still wind up shelling out $1000 for the bigger size.
it has been a while since we got out to the park to walk around the lake. I’m hoping to get back to a regular routine because my beer belly is starting to show again. just a little, mind you… but I can tell…
Yes, my need for comfort is apparently insatiable these days.
Work is just overwhelming at times. Upper management continues to just pile it on and simply spouts out the ubiquitous phrase “do more with less!” gah. Yeah, I’m thankful I still have a job but come on, there’s only so much I can give. ugh. my head hurts. could be from the stress. or from all the MSG in the food. who knows.
This scene from James Gunn’s movie Super (featuring Rainn Wilson, Ellen Page and Liv Tyler) hits pretty close to home…
OK, maybe NOT the cosplay aspect of it but the particular predicament the two characters are in. I find myself in that situation almost every night. The wife is horny as all get-out and me, not so much. I’m rarely in the mood nowadays. I can’t seem to get myself into gear with all the stresses of the day rolling around in my head: Our bleak financial situation, my low self esteem, my old middle-aged body, the mounting pressures from my so-called career and of course the stress from raising kids. I’m pretty sure money would cure my ills. If I didn’t have to worry about bills and my every growing debt that I’ve accumulated, I’m positive that I’d be having some brain crushing sex all the time. So, until I win my millions, the wife just needs to leave me alone…
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