while I was grumpily trying to sleep-in this morning, my 7-year old left me all that he had in his piggy bank with a little note wishing me a happy birthday.
that lil’ gesture just killed me this morning.
well, another year has gone and another birthday is at hand (monday). and what do I have to show for it? I mean, have I done anything this past year to slow the downward spiral of my so called life?
have I improved my financial situation? nah.
Have I made a conscious effort to be a better parent? uummm, nope.
have I changed my lazy-ass ways and significantly improved my health. nope.
made a dent on my credit card debt? nada.
got a promotion? nunca.
have I done anything from my home improvement to do list? shit
have I become less cynical about life? absolutely not.
am I any happier with my life? do I even have to ask?
OK, just checking. carry on.
..and time still marches on…
OK, so we just got word that our oldest passed the audition and will be placed in the local youth orchestra. wow, I totally didn’t expect that after he told me that he botched the audition a couple weeks ago. …and, you’d think that I’d be happy now. right. It’s never THAT simple. So, what this means now is more of my time shuttling him back and forth to weekly rehearsals and to private lessons. Plus, I got to find the money to pay for the lessons. ugh. and don’t get me started on how much it’s going to cost me to upgrade his cello. He’s currently got a 3/4 sized cello that he’s been using since the last 3 1/2 years. And apparently I can’t stop him from growing so he’s now at a point where he needs a full size cello. And even trading in his current instrument, we’ll still wind up shelling out $1000 for the bigger size.
ah, nope. this is not what I signed up for…
it has been a while since we got out to the park to walk around the lake. I’m hoping to get back to a regular routine because my beer belly is starting to show again. just a little, mind you… but I can tell…
Had to partake in some more comfort food today.
Today’s pick was: the local mongolian grill.
Yes, my need for comfort is apparently insatiable these days.
Work is just overwhelming at times. Upper management continues to just pile it on and simply spouts out the ubiquitous phrase “do more with less!” gah. Yeah, I’m thankful I still have a job but come on, there’s only so much I can give. ugh. my head hurts. could be from the stress. or from all the MSG in the food. who knows.
This scene from James Gunn’s movie Super (featuring Rainn Wilson, Ellen Page and Liv Tyler) hits pretty close to home…
OK, maybe NOT the cosplay aspect of it but the particular predicament the two characters are in. I find myself in that situation almost every night. The wife is horny as all get-out and me, not so much. I’m rarely in the mood nowadays. I can’t seem to get myself into gear with all the stresses of the day rolling around in my head: Our bleak financial situation, my low self esteem, my old middle-aged body, the mounting pressures from my so-called career and of course the stress from raising kids. I’m pretty sure money would cure my ills. If I didn’t have to worry about bills and my every growing debt that I’ve accumulated, I’m positive that I’d be having some brain crushing sex all the time. So, until I win my millions, the wife just needs to leave me alone…
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